Tuesday, June 03, 2014

It takes gutz to be a Gutierrez: Episode 1

Episode 1 Recap (Season 1 Premiere)

[[[ (snark)Recap by Pink Panda and Chunkie ]]]

Pink Panda: New Reality Show!!!

Chunkie: Don't you mean new reality zhow!!!?

Pink Panda: Seriously?

Chunkie: what??are we not allowed to intentionally misspell words too?

Pink Panda: *Sigh* I want to smack the guy who green lit that title.

Chunkie: Ha! And I want to smack the guy who green lit this show. I mean really? The Gutierrez? I wish this was with the Barretos’ clan instead. They're actually interesting and have more drama in the family. Public smack downs, warrant of arrests, nude pics, thefts, catfights and more, on a weekly basis.

Pink Panda: so, Bitchin’ it up with the Barretos? The Belligerent Barretos? It takes bratinezz to be a Barreto?

Chunkie: I would watch any of that and with a giant tub of popcorn in hand.

Pink Panda: Anyway, we start with usual intro complete with an (already) awful theme song. Is that Eddie G. saying just Gutz over and over again?

Chunkie: Ha! Raymond’s title card describes him as a “Nightlife Connoisseur”

Pink Panda: and what the eff is that?

Chunkie: Connoisseur = basically an expert. Eddie’s title card just says “The Legend”

Pink Panda: So, we have the dad Eddie Gutierrez, the mom Annabelle Rama, and the children: Ruffa Gutierrez, Richard & Raymond Gutierrez who are identical twins but you can easily tell them apart. Ruffa’s narrating; I wish it wasn’t that obvious that she’s reading from a script.

Chunkie: Wait, did she just share that she got her period at 14 (TMI!) we're only what? 2 minutes in.

Pink Panda: okay, first scene is at a resto with Ruffa and the R&R twins, they're talking about lovelife, secrets, etc…They're trying to act natural but it’s obvious that they're not used to the cameras yet.


Chunkie: It’s actually fun to watch them struggling, they're having a normal conversation but they try not to look at the cameras directly.

Pink Panda: Now, we're at their parents place, Eddie and Annabelle are, thankfully, more natural in front of the cameras. They're talking about the past and how Annabelle was jealous of Eddie’s screen partners at that time and how she had to hide her pregnancy because it would be bad for his career.

Chunkie: I love the way they converse, it’s a serious subject but they bicker about it playfully. I think this is the first time I saw Annabelle onscreen without make-up.

Pink Panda: Yeah, me too. She aged a lot but still looks pretty. We're back to Ruffa now and she’s at Dra. Vicki Belo's clinic for an acupuncture facial.

Chunkie: Ehhhh, NEEDLES. Freakin’ needles. (looks away)
Pink Panda: It’s not that bad!!

Chunkie: I know but its NEEDLES stuck to your face, why would you do that to yourself?

Pink Panda: Because it’s relaxing and it’s just a simple facial....Moving on, Annabelle is talking about politics. She wants to be a congresswoman of Cebu. Yada, yada, yada…Ruffa is in a lunch date with her girlfriends, Phoemela Barranda and another girl(an actress?) She’s familiar but I can't quite remember where I’ve seen her.

Chunkie: So? She’s a dawho. Ruffa talks about wanting to find love again, that they planned her next and last wedding without a groom. I admire her optimism. They talk about her failed marriage with Ylmaz Bektaz.

Pink Panda: Next scene…at Richard’s house with his younger sibling(?) and girlfriend Sarah Lahbati. They’re unpacking a giant Sony TV, Sony action cameras, and Sony cellphones.

Chunkie: For the past year, Richard and Sarah had been hounded with questions about whether Sarah went abroad for a year because she was pregnant.

Pink Panda: Cue Richard, in confessional, taking a deep breath.....he’s ready to finally tell the truth..…and that is…..

*Commercial Break* (of course!)






…and we're back in confession, Richard is ready to tell everyone the truth that…..he is the proud father of a baby boy Zayn Zion.

Pink Panda: The rumors were true. Sarah went abroad to hide the pregnancy because they didn’t want it to be tabloid fodder.

Chunkie: But, it’s okay to use it as a plug for their reality show?

Pink Panda: Shhh! don't question them; they’re new parents who are only thinking about the well-being of their baby.

Chunkie: Who we’ll get to see on next week’s episode....

Screencaps via E! Asia

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