Monday, July 07, 2014

It Takes Gutz to be a Gutierrez: Episode 6

Episode 6 Snark Recap (Season 1 Finale)

Pink Panda: And for the last time, for the first ever season, Gutz….Gutz....Gutz….

Chunkie: It Takes GUTZ To Be A Gutierrez!

Pink Panda: Ugh!! It still sounds awful the 6th time around.

Chunkie: Atleast, we won’t get to hear it again until the second season

Pink Panda: Ugh!! I can’t believe that this actually got renewed?

Chunkie: Well it’s produced by E! who also produces even crappier reality shows.

Pink Panda: Fair point! and we have to give it to them; they managed to produce a show that’s even worse than the KUWTK, Escape Club, Eric & Jessie…

Chunkie: …and don’t forget Giuliana and Bill, Kendra, Married To Jonas, and that pointless Kimora show.

Pink Panda: Well, anyway let’s go back to our original topic: the crappy 6th episode of crappy Gutz!

Chunkie: We resume with the dinner kerfuffle; Sarah calms down Richard and they head back inside the restaurant.

Pink Panda: Richard apologizes to Raymond, Eddie and to everyone. He says a really corny and obviously scripted speech about their family and how they should always be there for each other and some other cliché sayings.

Chunkie: Damn! That was cringe-worthy.

Pink Panda: …especially coming from the guy who fought over his twin brother about their fashion styles.

Chunkie: The ladies tear up from the sappy speech and Elvis suggests that they should have family dinner more often. (And that’s the most screen time he’s gonna get this week. Goodbye Elvis!)

Pink Panda: Everyone cheers to celebrate the end of the feud and everything’s okay again.

Chunkie: The next day, they’re in Singapore and they drop by Universal Studios, they take pictures and the R twins, Sarah and the kids go swimming with the dolphins

Pink Panda: The main members of the clan(Mom, Dad, Ruffa and the R twins) head to a studio to shoot their promotional ads for the show.

Chunkie: If you thought that the actual ads were awkward and forced, the behind-the-scenes making of it are even more awkward and forced.

Pink Panda: They’re back in Manila and they celebrate Ruffa’s pre-birthday party.

Chunkie: A party before the actual party? The lifestyle of the rich and famous indeed!

Pink Panda: Raymond’s now blonde and probably much more whiny than ever.

Chunkie: They also celebrate Baby Z’s jungle-themed christening/birthday party. You know, the one with the in-family feud between Annabelle and Sarah’s family.

Pink Panda: Then, each of the main 5 say their scripted lines about what they learned over the course of their reality show and how it changed them for the better and sometimes, even for the worse…yada, yada, yada…

Chunkie: …and how, no matter what happens, they’re always gonna be one big family. “Everyone: It really takes Gutz to be a Gutierrez!” Blergh!!!

Pink Panda: And, Season 1 is a wrap!

Chunkie: So, they just skirted the whole incident with the Lahbati’s at the christening party?

Pink Panda: Or they’re saving it for Season 2? You know they’re gonna need that to promote their next season.

Chunkie: Yeah! Now that they just proved(with this 1st season) that nothing remotely classified as ‘super interesting’ is actually going on with the Gutierrez clan.

Pink Panda: They could have, just like the Kardashians, a hidden sex tape somewhere.

Chunkie: Well, that IS interesting! Just as long as it’s not Raymond’s.

Pink Panda: Ha! I doubt it, seeing that he’s yet to come out of the.…well you know…

Chunkie: I know and everyone else does too. No need to state the obvious. *wink wink*


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